Desperation
by Keersten
Summary: This is just an extension of the campfire scene, with some added plot elements I think would have added even more interest to the story.
1. Chapter 1

Trip and Monkey stared into the fire, its warmth a welcome respite for their weary bones.

"At this rate, we should reach my community by midday. What will you do when we get there? After I take the headband off. Apart from break my neck I mean."

"Go back, I guess."

"Back where?"

"Wherever. Depends where I can find food and fuel. I usually keep movin'."

"You could probably stay if you wanted. I'm just saying… When my father hears about all you've done for me, I know he'll offer you a home. If that's what you want."

Monkey couldn't bring himself to voice the ominous feeling he had about what they might find when they returned to her hometown. She needed something to hold onto. She needed hope. He couldn't crush that. Not after everything she'd been through. But even if her town was safe from slavers and mechs he doubted he could ever really fit in there. Lord knew he wasn't very adept at social interaction after so many years alone. Even now he couldn't decipher the nervousness in her voice. She felt morally obligated to offer him a home after what she put him through. That much was clear. But was she afraid he'd say yes, or afraid he'd say no? Either way, he wasn't about to make any promises he couldn't keep.

For Trip, his silent stare into the flames said it all. He still resented being her captive. His frustration was palpable to her. She couldn't blame him for not wanting anything to do with her. He'd probably be on his way as soon as possible once she released him. After all, that had been the deal all along. So why did she feel so crushed? There was nothing for it; no use getting upset. She pushed her feelings aside and focused on the problem at hand. Monkey hadn't yet given any indication he was going to sleep any time soon and they had a long day ahead.

"We should get to sleep soon. We still have a long drive tomorrow."

"This place is too exposed. I gotta stay awake and keep watch."

"Well then let's take turns. I'll take the first watch. You've been fighting mechs and driving all day. You must be exhausted."

"I'll be fine. You wouldn't last two seconds if mechs or slavers showed up. That's why I'm here, isn't it?"

"I can use the dragonfly's infra-red sensor and set up a half-mile search radius. If anything shows up, I promise I'll wake you up immediately."

"How do I know you won't fall asleep?"

"Please Monkey. You asked me to trust you. Now I'm asking you to trust me."

"I'll try." He grimaced, then settled down on his side with a resigned sigh.

Trip swiped a few keys and sent the dragonfly aloft.

Monkey still hadn't closed his eyes after it returned with nothing more to report than the heat signatures of a few harmless nocturnal animals.

"Still can't sleep?" Trip asked.

"Mm" Monkey grunted. He looked thoughtful for a few seconds.

"Huh…I wonder…" he said under his breath.

"What?"

"I wonder if you could force me to sleep with this thing?" He added hastily "Not that I'd want you to, I was just curious. Don't get any dumb ideas."

"I actually don't know. I'm starting to think maybe I should try it out. You really need your rest for tomorrow."

Monkey jerked upright.

"Jesus, I didn't think you'd seriously do it! Dammit, I shoulda kept my mouth shut. I can't protect you if I'm asleep, ya know!"

He got up with alarming speed and started scrambling towards her…

"Command: sleep! Oh! No-no-no-no..."

… and almost collapsed into the fire before Trip used all her weight to pull him in the other direction. She instinctively tried to slow his fall, nearly dislocating her shoulder in the process. Most of his body thumped down pretty hard, but she'd at least managed to keep his head from slamming on the hard-packed, stony ground.

Trip silently chastised herself. That was a stupid, impulsive thing to do. Desperation had gotten the better of her. She wondered what he'd thought he was going to accomplish by charging toward her. He couldn't stop her from commanding him to do anything. Anything she wanted. She imagined how it would feel to have even the most basic aspects of her life controlled by another, and shivered with horror at the thought. Evil. What she was doing was evil. The pit of her stomach burned with self-hatred. But what else could she do? Her father probably thought his precious daughter was dead by now. She had to make it right, and Monkey held the only key to her safe return. She couldn't possibly trust him to stay by her side. If she were in his place she would try to escape at the first opportunity.

She couldn't release him completely yet, but she could take a small step in the right direction. There was no need for him to perish with her if she died. She had wanted to deactivate the termination trigger sooner, once she trusted him not to hurt her, but they were ever in the midst of battling mechs and and trying to stay alive. It might not mean much, now that it seemed they were past the worst of the danger, but it was something. Now was her chance. She opened her databand and in few keystrokes it was done, with Monkey none the wiser. For all he knew, his life was still tied to hers. After all, the disciplinary pulse was still active. She cringed at the memory of her first command to him. She had spent much of the past day trying to forget the agony on his face. Each time she remembered, her heart physically ached and she had to fight back tears. "I'm so sorry, Monkey" she whispered. She watched his chest rise and fall and wondered how long he would be out.


	2. Chapter 2

A few uneventful hours later the sky had lightened to the shade of periwinkle and Monkey was still snoring lightly.

"Monkey…" Trip tapped his shoulder. He barely stirred.

"Monkey… Monkey!" Gently shaking him caused his eyes to crinkle shut even tighter. With one more shake, his eyes snapped open and his arm shot out with blinding speed, sending her sprawling in the dust. In the same second he realized it was her and not a mech or slaver who had woken him. The terror in her eyes was fleeting, but it tore at his heart.

"Sh-shit! You ok?"

"Yeah…" she uttered, her breath still quick and shallow. He understood then; this was exactly why she had enslaved him. He pulled her up by the hand.

"I'm just not used to being woken up by someone who's not..."…_gonna hurt me_, he thought silently.

"I'm sorry." He realized he was still holding her hand and dropped it self-consciously, turning towards his bike.

"Let's get going."

The sooner they were on the road the better. He could feel a lump forming in his throat and once they were on his bike she wouldn't be able to see his face.


End file.
